What goes up must come down

And with this ancient adage I am referring to three main subjects: ambient temperatures, my mood and the polytunnel.

First the weather. Almost at midwinter here and the gonads of the metal primates are well and truly rock solid. The view out of the window has been mostly white for the last 14 days and this scenario is set to continue if this forecast by the local meteorologist is anything to go by:

Thursday 14th June - A cold but crisp start to the day and with temperature below zero over Wed night, which generates a risk of icy surfaces during Thu morning. The wind in WNW 15 gusting 25 Knots, then gradually backs around to a SW direction by 1500 Z and increases to 25 gusting 35 Knots, particularly around snow showers. Showers of snow start out as isolated, but becoming more frequent from around 1300-1400 Z. (MPA to have a higher frequency of snow showers than Stanley due to the track over land at this time.) Max temps around PS 02 C, then below freezing from 2000 Z. The occluded front then tracks from the south to reach us by 2359 Z. From this time, the wind significantly increases from the south to a mean speed of 35-40 knots gusting 60-65 knots, with prolonged heavy snow.

Friday 15th June - Carrying on from above, the prolonged heavy snow is expected to deposit significant snow accumulations in the region of 12 cm, but I would plan for more. The weather front should pass us by 0600 Z, however, there remains a signal for frequent snow showers following this front with winds calming to fresh from 1200 Z..

(Not that I could fully understand the implications of such a summary. Two science degrees and a regular interest in climatic matters later and still no closer to appreciating the intent of their predictions. I surmised the outlook meant more snow and more wind and decided to continue my current strategy of conserving energy and only straying out of the family home when essential).

Secondly my mood. Big Man has absconded to the UK for a training course and a well-earned pat on the back for his charity effort in December, which is as it should be but did leave me with a poorly child during a school holiday and period of inclement weather, which does tend to have the effect of making me want to bang my head on a brick wall. Fortunately the houses here have an outer shell of timber.

Thirdly, and also impacting badly on #2 above, is the polytunnel. My community horticulture project of only a year old was brought to its knees by an incredibly loud and forceful southerly storm on Thursday night last week. As may be obvious, southerly winds come directly from the Antarctic region, which has been said to have formed ice early this year, heralding a severe winter for us. Great. Anyway I was told the structure was in bits and headed down there with the nipper and a few basic tools to take a look and see if anything could be done. Polytunnel = completely buggered. The metal hoops remained but both door frames and all polythene were utterly destroyed. So I climbed back into the Land Rover and burst into tears. Then spent a silly hour trying to find some bodies to come and help make the remains safe. Sigh. Back to the drawing board there then. Am thinking additional fencing is required before we repair the plastic but none of this comes cheap.

So it has been a woeful week. I even declined the chance to go into Stanley for the Liberation Day parade this morning. The thought of driving a reluctant child 35 miles to stand in the bitter cold and then home again really didn't appeal. Perhaps I might have warmed to the idea more easily if the tax and immigration departments weren't such vague and disorganised bodies forming a clumsy obstacle to me earning even the most meagre of wages. In the event it was a blessing that I didn't go as friends skidded on ice and put their Land Rover down a bank. All the family were unharmed but I feel that is the kind of excitement you can do without when not wearing special suits and crash helmets.

Looking on the bright side, there are no confirmed cases of Legionnaires disease here yet, and what with an entire lack of air conditioning or industry potentially harbouring such an infection I might sleep easy in my bed tonight. Wind permitting.

Go West

'West is best'...or so the locals allege. This was an opportunity to judge for ourselves. One thing is for sure, five days on West Falkland in the middle of winter is in sharp contrast to our other recent trips involving hot climates. The West is less inhabited than the East with virtually no development at all: no petrol station, supermarket, pub, cafe, tarmac roads or streetlights. Just oodles of scenery and abundant wildlife.

We took the ferry to Port Howard (a two hour crossing) and stayed one night in the Lodge there, which was very comfortable and provided full meals. Then we headed out into the unknown, maps at my feet and watched the caracaras circling on the next ridge. Then, as if it was pre-ordained by some greater power, Pet Shop Boys came on the radio. Not normally one to find song lyrics befitting, these had a certain poignancy:

(Together) We will go our way (Together) We will leave someday (Together) Your hand in my hands (Together) We will make our plans

(Together) We will fly so high (Together) Tell all our friends goodbye (Together) We will start life new (Together) This is what we'll do

(Go West) Life is peaceful there (Go West) In the open air (Go West) Where the skies are blue (Go West) This is what we're gonna do

(Together) We will love the beach (Together) We will learn and teach (Together) Change our pace of life (Together) We will work and strive

(I love you) I know you love me (I want you) How could I disagree? (So that's why) I make no protest (When you say) You will do the rest

(Go West) Sun in wintertime (Go West) We will do just fine (Go West) Where the skies are blue (Go West) this is what we're gonna do

There where the air is free We'll be (We'll be) what we want to be Now if we make a stand We'll find (We'll find) our promised land

(I know that) There are many ways (To live there) In the sun or shade (Together) We will find a place (To settle) Where there's so much space

(Without rush) And the pace back east (The hustling) Rustling just to feed (I know I'm) Ready to leave too (So that's what) We are gonna do

(Life is peaceful there) Go West (In the open air) Go West (Baby, you and me) Go West (This is our destiny)

We spent the next three nights in the Top Dip Shanty, which was considerably 'rustic'. No running water, no electricity and utterly enchanting. I was put in mind of ancestors who emigrated to Canada with great pioneering spirit and with no modern contrivances.

Top Dip has a peat stove and hearth replete with goose wing for dusting and lots of colourful rugs and throws for charm. On a practical note it had torches and a chemical toilet, but this didn't detract from the romance. Big Man did a great job of frequent fire fettling and apart from coughing and spluttering at the initial waft of smoke from the peat turves, it kept us pretty cosy. Woozles loved mastering the ladder up and down from the top bunk and playing with some retro toys (new to her!).

The weather was fairly brutal, snowing every day we stayed in the shanty. However we did venture out in the Defender to Hill Cove (has the only woodland in the archipelago), where we had the shortest picnic known to man and the next day to Fox Bay, a rather industrial port settlement where we had hot chocolate and biscuits overlooking the shore birds at the harbour.

Our hostess at the nearby farmhouse was incredibly welcoming (she doesn't get many people to talk to!) and, wait for it, used to live in Walsden. Small world or what?

The last morning was cool and clear so I had a lovely walk along the riverbank while the other two holed up in the warm. I reached a rickety bridge next to an old settlement, tried not to slip in the river on icy rocks, peered at ferns and took endless photographs.

We returned to Port Howard by way of a pitstop to view remains of a downed Argentinian aircraft

and to coo at myriad rainbows. We didn't linger long with feet resembling blocks of ice and the promise of carpeted accommodation and a hot shower tempting us back rather severely!

Late that afternoon I enjoyed another poke along the shoreline collecting fragments of old ceramics with future mosaics in mind, got a few snaps of the rather tame night heron on watch for fish by the bridge and then settled back in for the night before our ferry home.

On deck in the biting wind I watched dolphins porpoising at the bows, rock shags circling overhead and petrels soaring over the stern. Upon returning to East Falkland it was equally snowy and we continued promptly home to warm our cockles and check on the chooks. Woozles was sad that our adventure was over but soon rallied with the promise of craft activities, snacks and children's tv. The ability to switch on electric lights was not going unnoticed at this point!