Below are a few extracts from the travel diary. We collected our arrivals from the airport and brought them back to our house to experience life in a 'dry country'.
Day 1 with Big Brother in tow and we arrived safely back home to show them around. A few drinks were possibly enjoyed on the patio through the evening.
Day 3 with Big Brother in the house and chaos prevails. Number of power cuts 2, broken glasses 1, no. of hours of lost sleep 7, no. of alcohol units consumed way beyond measure, no. fruits and / or vegetables ingested by nephew 1. This comes to you sponsored by locally grown cucumber for feeding the children, detoxing the insides and putting on my beleaguered eye bags.
Day 6: Big Brother in Bandar. Only a few seriously hair raising moments during another busy day. Meeting a menacing troop of monkeys enacting their own Olympic diving competition by hurling themselves bodily out of a tree into a stream to cool down at midday. Sis-out-law surviving a set to with a snake after almost stepping on it. Big Brother lacerating his leg climbing into boat. Our river cruise revealing tail of crocodile sliding into water near our very small boat rendering us very vulnerable. Quite a trip.
Day 8: Big Brother (BB) in the Jungle. Could have massively done without being told about missing man + his pack of dogs i.e. worrying about cannibals and other horrible things before setting off on an interior adventure to waterfall past tribal longhouse up very long road. Expect the garlic I put in my rucksack kept it all at bay. The only dramas we had were a snake crossing road (and refusing to budge even after tooting the horn), leeches (BB seemed more than averagely attractive to the little suckers) and a petrol deficit, which in an oil-producing country did seem a smidgen ironic.
Day 10: Big Brother in Singapore. Relatively smooth plane journey over the South China Sea followed by fractious foray on MRT to hotel in back of beyond. Only accommodation available due to weekend not only being Hari Raya (end of Ramadan) but also National day.
After a sociable 'Sling' or two in Raffles, it was decided, perhaps unwisely, that I would chaperone the nippers in a trishaw to the next block to satisfy their urges. A trishaw, for the uninitiated, is basically a pushbike with a sidecar. So off we went along a five-lane highway, pedalled by a geriatric, me clutching my two precious charges for dear life. Upon being deposited somewhere, anywhere, we then passed a trying forty minutes seeking the rest of the party, what with all pedestrians wearing red, throbbing towards marina, and presence of numerous barricades between all open areas hindering our flow.
After a testy reunion we enjoyed the day with ice cream, fireworks and aerial display viewed from gardens on the bay and a gut full of delicious chow at Newton circus.
Day 14: Big Brother at the beach - Pulau Tioman in Malaysia. After a very protracted and tedious journey on a bumpy bus and ancient boat we arrived on a beautiful beautiful tropical island. A little bit of sunburn and the usual additional hidden costs aside, it has been a lovely stay. Beautiful sea for bathing, plentiful food and drink, great pool, even a massage and massive monitor lizard, not related. And no biting insects, which was maybe the most fabulous thing of all.
Day 17: Big Brother The Final Episode. Had a couple of days in Kuala Lumpur to round off the adventure. Has been, in the words of my nephew, 'epic'. We have traversed beaches, pools, rivers, jungles, cities, caves and swamps on foot, by boat and by plane, train and automobile. Seen monkeys, snakes, bats, insects and more. Eaten Malay, Indian, Chinese and Western cuisine, devoured more satay sticks than could possibly be counted.
Now it is time to prepare for school term and start to organise the next instalments of the adventure!
